Appraisal letter .. Amazing!!

Dear Manager (HR),


Ramesh, my assistant programmer, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. Ramesh works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. Ramesh never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often, Ramesh takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. Ramesh is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Ramesh can be

classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Ramesh be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

sent away as soon as possible.


Signed - Project Leader


NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote
the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3,
5, 7, 9,11, 13)for my true assessment of him.

Mistake

If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a new style...

If a driver makes a mistake,
It is an accident..

If a doctor makes a mistake,
It's an operation..

If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a new venture...

If parents makes a mistake,
It is a new generation...

If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law...

If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention...

If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion...

If a teacher makes a mistake,
It is a new theory...

If a student makes a mistake,
It is a MISTAKE

The personal hygiene salesman!!

A man walked into the bar at a hotel that was hosting a convention of personal hygiene product salesmen. He sat down at a table with some of his fellow salesmen.

Immediately one of the other salesmen says to him: "Hey Bill! We were just talking about you. Your territory sucks! Nobody was ever able to make a living in it before you. But now, you son-of-a-gun, you win the all-expense-paid trip to Vegas three years in a row, selling almost twice as much as anyone else in the whole Southwest region! How in the hell do you do it?"

Bill replied, "Its easy! I take a big engraved silver bowl and fill it up with fresh dogcrap. Next I garnish it carefully with parsley sprigs, celery stalks, scallions, olives and thin-sliced red bell pepper rings. I take this to the airport and set it on a table on an elegantly embroidered white tablecloth. I serve samples on cocktail wafers to all who pass by. As soon as someone takes a bite they usually say ’Jesus Christ!! This stuff tastes like CRAP!!’

I reply ’Yes sir! That’s what it is!
Would you care to buy a toothbrush?"

A nice Gazal

This is the first time i m posting a gazal(song) in this blog of mine!! I got this gazal from a very close friend, and it surely touches the heart!!!

___________________________________________________________________
Ankhon me kai sapne saja kar roye bohot hain hum.
dil ko nayi duniya dikha kar roye bohot hain hum.

woh badal gayi to pherli hum nay bhi nazar apni.
par us kay Nishaniyan jala kar roye bohot hain hum.

laut aye to hain us ki mehfil say bacha kar ruh apni.
par us ke saath ko kho kar roye bohot hain hum.

jisay kia tha roshan tamannaon say hum nay apni.
us shama -e- wafa ko bhuja kar roye bohot hain hum.

jin kay saye main ki thin hum nay kai batain.
un baghon main tanha ja kar roye bohot hain hum.

kis qadar khoshi say kia hum dum ko rukhsat hum nay.
magar sab say nazar bacha kay roye bohot hain hum.

hosla tootnay ka gham seh sako to wafa karna kisi say .
yeh batain logon ko suna kar roye bohot hain hum.

phir yun hua ki ankhon ne kai raat jage dekhe.
palkhon pe teri yaad bitha kar roye bohot hain hum.

An Engineer's Valentine Poem!!

I was alone and all was dark
Beneath me and above
My life was full of volts and amps
But not the spark of love

But now that your are here with me
My heart is overjoyed
You turn the square of my heart
Into a sinusoid

You load things from my memory
Onto my system's bus
My life was once assembly code
Now it's C++

I love the way you solder things
My circuits you can fix
The voltage across your diode is
much more than just point six

With your amps and resistors
You have built my integrator
I cannot survive without you
You are my function generator

You have charged my life, increased my gain
And made my maths discrete
And now I'll end my poem here
Control, Alt, and Delete !!!