Zanies All

"Terrific date last night," Fred told Bill at the office on morning: "Blonde. Really gorgeous. After the dance we went out and parked by the lake. I asked her for a kiss. She saidshe would if I'd put the top down so we could enjoy the moonlight. So I went to work and got the top down in about an hour and-"
"An Hour!" Bill exclaimed. "I get mine down in two minutes."
"Sure," replied Fred, "but you have a convertible!"
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An African chieftain flew to London for a visit and was met at the airport by newsmen. "Good morning, Chief," one said. "Did you have a comfortable flight?"
The chief made a series of raucous noises-honk, oink, screech, whistle, z-z-z-z--then added in perfect English, "Yes, very pleasant indeed."
"And how long you plan to stay?" asked the reporter.
Prefacing his remarks with the same noises the chief answered, "About three weeks I think."
"Tell me, Chief," inquired the baffled reporter, "where did you learn to speak such flawless English?"
After the now standard honk, oink, screech, whistle and z-z-z-z, the chief said, "Short-wave radio."