Newly Wed!!!

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech.

She addressed as follows:
"My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:
Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn't stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!

Murphy's Laws

• Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
• To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
• The road to success..... ... is always under construction .
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk..
• In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
• All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
• Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
• Everyone has a scheme of getting rich..... which never works .
• If at first you don't succeed.... Destroy all evidence that you ever tried .
• You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
• ***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
• As soon as you mention something... ... if it is good, it is taken.... If it is bad, it happens.
• He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
• If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late...... the bus is still late .
• Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
• If you have paper, you don't have a pen....... If you have a pen, you don't have paper...... if you have both, no one calls .
• Especially for engg. Students---- If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
• You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
• All buses are crowded. Corollary--- -- buses in opposite direction always go empty.
• After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
• If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight .
• The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
• Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

Top ten things not to say on your anniversary!

10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.

9. Today is our what?

8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?

7. I thought we only celebrated important events?

6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.

5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.

4. I've got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.

3. If you want me to pretend I care about our anniversary, I will.

2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll shut you up.

1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.

How guys xpress their love!!!

When a GUY is quiet and is alone,
He's is thinking how good you are.

When a GUY is lying on his bed,
He is thinking deeply why he loves you.

When a GUY looks at you in your eyes,
He wants to tell you how much he loves you andhow important you're.

When a GUY answers "I'm Fine" after awhile,
He is not and feels hurt.

When a GUY keep asking you the same question,
He is wondering why you are lying.

When a GUY hugs you while sleeping,
He is wishing that you belong to him forever.

When a GUY calls you everyday,
He Miss You and wants your attention.

When a GUY wants to see you everyday,
He cares for you and want to know how are you today.

When a GUY sms' u everyday,
He wants you to know he is fine.

When a GUY says I love you,
He really means it.

When a GUY says that he can't live without you,
He has made up his mind that you are his future wife.

When a GUY says "I Miss You",
He wants to see you immeditely.

Appraisal letter .. Amazing!!

Dear Manager (HR),


Ramesh, my assistant programmer, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. Ramesh works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. Ramesh never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often, Ramesh takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. Ramesh is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Ramesh can be

classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Ramesh be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

sent away as soon as possible.


Signed - Project Leader


NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote
the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3,
5, 7, 9,11, 13)for my true assessment of him.